Today seems like a most fitting day to reconnect with all of you, my Maggie’s Nest peeps, and wish you all a tremendously happy 2012 filled with infinite joy, unlimited abundance, and true love in all forms.
2011 was probably the hardest year of my life, and at times it’s been hard to stay in gratitude and appreciation for all that happened. Still, that’s been my mantra. Probably the biggest spiritual lesson I learned last year was that of wanting something different than what I have, without having to hate or disparage what I have. Becoming unhappy with what is and fighting it tooth and nail, is the way I had always thought change had to come about, and since I’m an extremely changeable creature, I spent a lot of time and energy disliking my present moment in a strange sort of loyalty to the future I dreamed of. Can you imagine the energy I wasted in this way? Always holding a hand up against my now? Maybe you can imagine it because you’ve done the same thing. I can’t be alone in this long-held misconception!
Over the summer I spent between 2-3 hours a day in my car, on a long commute to work I didn’t particularly want to be doing. I was in the midst of what would turn out to be huge shifts in every area of my life – but at the time it just felt like turmoil, pain, grief, railing at God, railing at my own changeable self, and despairing that I would ever find happiness.
My long commute turned out to be a great blessing, though, as I was somehow compelled to buy several of the audiobooks of the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, and listen to them day in and day out throughout the summer. My long relationship with the Law of Attraction prepared me perfectly to receive and integrate what Abraham had to teach.
One day as I sped along the narrow, winding country road up to work, wondering how I was ever going to get happy about my life, Abraham spoke of our natural human desire to want more, to want change, to reach for better and greater lives. “We are always joyously incomplete.” I felt a huge energetic release in my body; years of doubting and berating myself for never being satisfied with what I have left my cells and washed away as I took in the new reality that it’s human to want! I was reminded of something I heard once:
If you have reached your potential, you’re probably dead.
We all want to reach further, to have more, to chew up the present moment and digest it completely so we have room to experience new things in our lives. Once I really thought about it, I realized that nothing could be more natural!
But, I thought, why does it always feel so awful when I realize that what I have is no longer what I want?
The missing piece for me was appreciation.
“The way to get where you want to go is to appreciate where you are now,” Abraham spoke to me. My eyes blinked. I pressed rewind and listened again, three times. This revelation slowly settled into my bones. This was the spiritual practice I’d been missing all my life. What if I could start appreciating my now? I wonder what would happen?
I arrived at work with new resolve: to actively appreciate this job. No more grumbling about it; I could know that I didn’t want to keep doing this work, and I could show up fully and do the best job I knew how. I’m a bit embarrassed by what a revelation this was for me, but it really was.
Lo and behold, I had a great day at work, and left feeling energized rather than depleted. I headed home, determined to appreciate all that was there even while I was coming to the devastating conclusion that the relationship I was in, was no longer what I wanted. I realized that there was actually a lot to appreciate, and that it didn’t change my wanting something new.
I’ll tell you what, peeps: appreciation kept me alive this year. It became a way out of the often judgmental stance I took with myself as I made necessary but painful changes in my life. It helped me make those changes from a place of love and respect for myself and the others involved, rather than disdain and judgment. I am grateful beyond belief for the gift of appreciation!
As life has taken some abrupt and drastic turns, it’s probably no big surprise that I’ve decided to stop blogging at Maggie’s Nest. I’m diving into a new (well, old and new again) career as a professional performing artist, and will continue blogging, how frequently I don’t yet know, largely about creativity, spirituality, and how the two inform each other. Domesticity will probably not be covered there, but there will probably be some mention of food now and then. (Foodie Or Die!)
All of my previous four years of blogging, including the Maggie’s Nest posts, can now be found at http://wandernest.wordpress.com. My new website, http://www.maggiehollinbeck.com will house my new blog. I welcome you all there if the content is of interest.
Joy! Abundance! Love! Truth! Presence!
May all these and much more find you in 2012, the Quantum Year!